I suffer from severe depression. There are days in which I lay awake in my bed, incapable of moving, thinking only of ways I could end my life. Other days I’m just completely numb, no amount of happy news or even sad ones are able to elicit a true reaction from me.

I’ve faked so much of how I feel so most people won’t find out, sometimes I can’t tell if what I’m feeling is true or not.

One of the reasons I allow my nails to grow long is so that I can hurt myself with them because I won’t cut myself.

What Gaming Means To Me

The Cat Lady. I love it. When I first played it, I couldn’t stop crying. It was the first time I saw someone depict exactly how I felt and it was so powerful, I decided to try and fight against my depression.

Alice: Madness Returns. The way the story is constructed, I’m immediately immersed and I forget everything else and become myself again.

Gaming gives me the sense of community, I have made so many friends that enjoy games in the past year that it helps, well, dull the numbness (if that makes sense).

Something else that helps is that some games have such important messages, so many impacting narratives.

It’s kind of overwhelming sometimes.

 

by João Gabriel Malaguti

Jennifer Hazel

I’m a psychiatry doctor and passionate gamer. I run a resource called prescriptionpixel.com – an interface between video games and mental health.
This is a space for gamers to safely share their feelings, access personalised resources, and seek help without judgement or stigma.