I’ve been struggling with light depression my entire life. I likely always will. I also think I might have a light case of cyclothymia, switching between overdrive and apathy.

Work has both helped and made it worse. On one hand having to get up, get dressed and be a functional person every day helped keep me standing. On the other, my current job has shattered my self-confidence, my view of what I wanted career-wise, and my trust in my peers. Being the only assertive female engineer on the team means I have no one to compare myself to, and as such I don’t know why things are not working. Is it me? Is it the culture? Am I being discriminated against or not? Why am I failing to grow? It triggered anxiety attacks, made me lose sleep more than once, and I generally break up in tears at least once a day. My manager has however been very supportive in helping me find an exit, and the company pays for a therapist that helped me a lot. My life is great overall, it’s mostly job-related stress left.

What Gaming Means To Me

Depression Quest helped me get out of the hole when I hit rock bottom. You always want to win a game: that one triggered something in me which meant I stopped spending my evenings not eating and staring at the walls.

Casual games in general (Triple Town especially) help me keep my mind off things when my brain won’t stop spinning. They make me feel guilty afterwards though, so it’s a double-edged sword. Fract OSC reminded me of why I love games and what I eventually want to create.

Jennifer Hazel

I'm a psychiatry doctor and passionate gamer. I run a resource called prescriptionpixel.com - an interface between video games and mental health.
This is a space for gamers to safely share their feelings, access personalised resources, and seek help without judgement or stigma.