Way too much backstory to write it all down here, but to sum up: I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Anxiety. I have put myself and others through Hell for most of my life, since childhood, in fact (I’m told). Finding therapists with extensive knowledge of BPD in this area is nearly impossible. There is only one, that I’ve found, and I’ve looked. Seeing a therapist who doesn’t specialize in BPD, in my not-humble opinion, is a leading cause of BPD patients feeling worse about themselves.

I am on lots of medications, which keep me from suicidal thoughts, at least when I’m awake. They keep me from crying all of the time, even when I feel the pain of wanting to cry deep in my belly. Sometimes I would prefer to just cry, but I know the slippery slope depression is, and it scares me to death. So I take my pills, am overweight and sleepy most of the time, and stay away from people. It’s the best solution I’ve been able to come up with. But it sucks, much of the time. I used to lose myself in books, and now lose myself in games, or Netflix, or sleeping in addition to reading. Sometimes, sleep is the only way to get away from the bad stuff.

Jennifer Hazel

I'm a psychiatry doctor and passionate gamer. I run a resource called prescriptionpixel.com - an interface between video games and mental health.
This is a space for gamers to safely share their feelings, access personalised resources, and seek help without judgement or stigma.